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Maybe I do this to myself. I was doing so good. Yesterday was great, today started that way........I am the one who let that one thing ruin it.........maybe I just need to ask for what I want. Asking for it isn't the same though........ I just wanted to go to lunch together.........to spend time together. Apparently when he said he wasn't hungry it didn't mean we couldn't go.........but that's what it sounded like to me. So I got upset and didn't say anything but when I did it was to late. I don't get my lunch date, instead I lay alone in the dark...hungry and alone. Is it to much ask to want him to know when I want something but don't want to ask. It seems unreasonable even to me. I just want those little things. He asked me if I wanted to get lunch and I was so excited. Then he asked what I wanted because he wasn't really hungry and I just said nothing, because it wasn't the food I cared about. It was just going out together. Am I really the one that ruined it??? Along with my day. Now I can't bring my self to smile, I don't want to laugh, I want to cry......... Maybe I am the cause of my depression by expecting to much, then getting upset when it doesn't happen. I just hate this endless sadness.