A random get to know me moment

I used to do surveys all the time, I love answering questions. I don't have as much time these days to do many.

1. One of your scars, how did you get it?
A few on my legs from my first years of shaving, those were dark days :( and two on my arm one from where my dog bit me and the other from my dad's friend's cigarette

2. What is on the walls in your room?
My pirate memorabilia, Johnny Depp pictures and my boyfriend's rebel flag

3. What is your current living situation?
I live in an apartment with my boyfriend and our 3 cats, 2 rats and the iguana.

4. What type of music do you listen to?
A little of everything, but heavy on the rock

5. Do you know what time you were born?
8am i believe but don't quote me on that

6. What do you want more than anything right now?
sleep, and work. I need to start working out more.

7. What do you miss?
being carefree

8. What is your most prized possession(s)?
My books.

9. How tall are you?
5'3

10. Are you claustrophobic?
nope, I want a coffin bed like Abbie on NCIS

11. Do you get scared in the dark?
Sometimes, I fear the things the dark can hide

12. The last person to make you cry?
myself, sometimes I cry for no reason idk why

13 What is your worst fear?
being poor and not being able to support my family

14. What kind of hair/eye color do you like on the opposite sex?
usually brown hair green/blue eyes, if you look at my former bf.

15. Where can you see yourself being proposed to at?
Something memorable to tell the grandkids

16.Coffee or energy drink?
Neither. water or tea only.

17. Favorite pizza topping?
cheese

18. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
taco bell

19. Favorite color of all time?
orange.

20. Have you ever eaten a goldfish?
cracker yes actual fish, no

21. What was the first meaningful gift you've ever received?
My hand made baby blanket

22. Do you have a crush?
On my boyfriend but I think at this point it is way deeper then a crush

23. Are you double jointed?
no :(

24. Favorite clothing brand?
I don't really care about brands clothes are clothes

25. Who is your favorite female/male celebrity?
Megan Fox and Johnny Depp

26. Do you have a pet?
three cats (Benji, Charity, Beast) 2 rats (Posiden and neptune) and an iguana (Hermes)

27. What kind is it?
see 26

28. Would you fall in love knowing that the person is leaving?
yeah cause I would follow them where ever they went

30. Say a number from one to a hundred:
15

31. Blonds, brunettes, or red heads?
Brunettes, because I am one.

32.Favorite quote?
"To all our listeners, this is what I have to say, God bless you all! As for you bastards in charge, don't dream it's over. All over the world young men and young women will always dream and put those dreams into song." pirate radio

33. Favorite place?
where ever Floyd is

34. Have you been out of the USA?
not yet.

35. Your weakness?
books

36. Met anyone famous?
Jimmy mad dog madus, cannibal corpse, wank and o'brian

37. First job?
New bethel ordinary (my only job..going on 4 years).

38. Ever done a prank call?
I was in the room, but I was ever actually on the phone.

39. Do you think everyone out there has a soul mate?
yes.

40.What were you doing before you filled this out?
getting ready to shower.

41. Have you ever had surgery?
nope

42. What do you get complimented about most?
my eyes

43.Have you ever had braces?
no

44. What do you want for your birthday?
My birthday just passed,

45. How many kids do you want and their names?
2 Icely Charlotte and Octavius Roland

46. Were you named after anyone?
Yes, Stevie Nicks

47. What is your biggest turn-off of the opposite sex?
racism, sexism and any prejudice and anyone who is controlling.

48. What is the one thing you liked about high school?
seeing my friends everyday

49. What kind of shampoo do you use?
Herbal Essence long term relationship

50. Do you like your handwriting?
Sometimes. Other times, I hate it.

51. What is your favorite lunch meat?
tofu ham

52. Any bad habits?
Procrastination and laziness.

53. Are you a jealous person?
no

54. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
Of course. I'm awesome.

55. Do you agree with "friend with benefits?"
it can work until one friends gets feelings for another.

56. Do looks matter?
Yes

57. How do you release anger?
I don't most times I am in situations when I can't do anything. but sometimes I can't help it and I act rude and let them know I am pissed

58. OH NO, THIS IS MISSING!

59. What's your main goal in life?
To be successful and to not let others keep me from my dreams

60. What was your favorite toy as a child?
my glow work Oscar

61. How old were you when you first fell in love?
18

62. Were you a fan of Barney as a little kid?
for awhile

63. Do you use sarcasm?
No.....(in a sarcastic tone)

64. Mashed potatoes or macaroni and cheese?
both.

65. What do you look for in a guy/girl?
equal, fun, not controlling, free, hardworking, faithful

66. What are your nicknames?
Stevie, Steve, Steve-o, baby

67. Favorite super hero?
Spider Man

68. What's your favorite TV show?
One tree hill or vampire diaries

69.What's the best way to deal with you enemies?
three fold law, karma will get them

70. What's your favorite ice cream flavor?
mint chocolate chip

71. Do you have all your fingers and toes?
why wouldn't I?????

72. Do you have a computer in your room?
My laptop goes with me everywhere.

73. Plans for tonight?
watching the gates then bed

74. Where do you want to live when you are older?
Louisiana

75.Do you want everyone to answer these questions?
that is up to them

76. What are you listening to?
the idiot neighbors fire works

77. Last thing you drank?
water

78. Last person you talked to on the phone?
Kara

79. The first thing you notice in the opposite sex?
eyes and teeth

80. What do you like to do in your spare time?
read, listen to music, watch movies

81. Favorite thing to hate?
Chris Cornell .

82. Favorite season of the year?
spring

83. What's your favorite type of candy?
resse cups

84. Have you ever really truly had a best friend?
I still do, and I actually have two.

85. What color is your hair?
dark brown with a reddish tint

86. Eye color?
golden brown

87. Shoe size?
Oh, 8.5-9, depending on the shoe.

88. Favorite fast food place?
taco bell

89. Favorite restaurant?
Noodles and Co

90. Do you like sushi?
no I am a vegetarian

91. Watch TV today?
nope

92. Favorite day of the year?
halloween.

93. Play any musical instruments?
clarinet, recorder

94. Republican or Democrat.
neither I believe you should vote for the person and the issues not the party

95. Kisses or hugs.
Both

96. Relationship or one night stands?
Oh definitely relationship.

97. What is the last thing someone bought you.
I bought myself a tea

98. Would you ever be a housewife?
yeah

99. What book are you reading?
the secret

100.Describe your love life.
forever and always

friends: the joke of the universe

Once again this year I have had to cut a friend out of my life. I have lost tract of how many of stabbed me in the back so far. If this is what getting older entails I really need to find Neverland and never grow old.

This one was probably the worst, so far. One of my so called best friends, in reality no more then a two faced b****.

She can go on pretending she loves him and that he treats her right. That,s fine by me I just hope she realized that if she hadn't let him control her every move she would have saved both me and her some trouble.

I got this apartment because of her and she left two months into the lease because he didn't like me. Now I am stuck with all the bill, can barely afford to eat, and had to allow someone else to live here which turned out why worse for me. If she had only honored her promise and her friendship we would both be happy.

Guess friends just use you and bail on you when it is convenient for them.

This is all I have to say to you. I hope your happy, I hope your life is way easier then the trouble you have caused in mine. I hope you realize you deserve better and can do better than a guy who controls everything you do and tries to change who you are. I hope some day you realize you are beautiful and you don't need to excessively diet. I hope things work out for you and that years from now I don't read you killed your self or starved yourself to death. I know you can be great, I hope some day you know that too. I just can't be here for you any more when all you do is treat me like shit. Good-bye have a great life.

Not my ussaly perky self

These last couple days have been really bad. My eyes feel all droopy and I don't feel like smiling. I am not happy, I cry for dumb reasons, I just want to be alone, do nothing and sleep. I miss my boyfriend. I have hardly seem him this last week and when I try and tell him I want some us time he either promised to help out someone or he invites people over. I just want to spend time with him and right now he is in the office with two of his friends and I am alone of the couch. No wonder I feel bad about myself right now. I haven't had any attention in a week. He isn't there when I got to bed and most times he isn't there when I go to bed. I just want to see him and spend time with him. I am to sad to even clean the house even though a dirty house makes me even more sad I just can't bring myself to clean becasue I don't see the point. I don't see the point of anything. I think I am lost. I don't care about anything. I just want to sleep and be alone.

I hate plans

something....most things in my case, don't go as planned. Even though I got all dressed up pretty I didn't get to go out last night :( Kinda dissapointed

Let the Drinking games begin

In less than 30 minutes I turn 21!! That means I am finally an adult in my book. I am not going to be one of those alcoholic 21 year olds but I plan on having a cocktail every now in then. I am off to get ready to hit the bar for the first time ever!!!!

My Summer Reading

My sister is pregnant ( I am not, thank the goddess.) So to help her prepare I have got a bunch of books about pregnancy and babies from the library. I also got a whole bunch about relationships.

They are about how to make it work and what to do before marriage etc.. I am kind of excited. They aren't in yet but they are all on the way. I am hoping to have the first batch by Monday or Tuesday. I am weird I know. My friend told me my sister should read the books, but its probably best if I do and summarize for her or maybe make a study guide.

The relationship books are for me and my man. We have a list of 69 things to do before marriage and we have two more years until I am out of school, so we are going to start working on things now so we will be ready then. I marry for life so we want to make everything between us great before we commit to each other fully.

10 things I have learned in life so far

*Its on the list of things to do before you get married*

1. We control our own destinies, the goddess is only their to guide us not control us.
2. Anything is possible, nothing it to far fetched or unachievable. In you believe in something enough you can make it happen.
3. Money may not be the most important thing in the world, but you can't live without it.
4. Living on your own is hard, bills pile up, sometimes you can't eat, and doing the dishes every day kind of sucks, and even though mom always made home cooked meals look easy they aren't.
5. Nothing is perfect all the time.
6. Bad things happen, you just have to take them as is and make the best of them.
7. Friends and family are everything.
8. Finding out who your real friends are is hard, people you care about will betray you, but it has to happen. Eventually you have to cut the negative people out of your life, no matter how much it hurts, or they will destroy you.
9. You never forget your first love, but finding you true love makes you realize how wrong your first love was for you.
10. There is always someone to help you, you do not have to go through life alone.

My Eulogy

* I don't plan on dying any time soon. I have a list of 69 things to do before you get married one of which is too write your own eulogy.*

Stephanie Nicole Deal was many things. A daughter, a sister, a best friend, a fiance, a shoulder to cry on, an ear that was always there to listen, a writer, an artist, and so many other things that would create an endless list of parts that made her who she was.

Most people called her Stevie, named after the infamous Stevie Nicks, she shared many traits with her name sake. She was a rocker at heart but she liked all music no matter the genre or country of origin, for example she has a rather large collection of Indian Dance music, that she had no problem showing you how to dance too.

She was Wiccian and loved nature enough to be called a tree hugging hippie. She wouldn't litter and had a tendency to bring in stray animals giving or finding them a home. On a few occasions she put herself in danger trying to help animals that didn't really want her help. One dog even chased her from Dollar General to the Ordinary when she tried to see his collar to take him home, but that didn't stop her from approaching stray dogs.

She was a great friend and was always there for what ever her friends needed be it an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on or some weird voodoo ritual that though blurred the lines between black and white magic she helped her friend out because that is just how she is. She would do anything to make those around her happy even if it made her unhappy.

She was kind, unless you hurt one of her own then she was a force to be reckoned with.

She loved many and only one stole her heart. Even when the world seemed against them she stood by his side and learned who her real friends were. She believed in herself and didn't let the opinions of others affect what she knew to be true in her heart.

She was a seeker of truth and knowledge and had a collection of random facts that she liked to share with everyone.

She was an avid reader, which was obvious to anyone who helped her move. She had more boxes of books then cloths, which is saying a lot for a girl.

She was a vegetarian and slightly a health nut, except when it came to chocolate and ice cream. and Taco Bell which she ate frequently sometimes twice a day.

She lived a great life and helped out everyone she met. Any one who knew her was blessed by her presence. She was the kind of person people strive to be like. Kind, caring and understanding, always there when you needed her. She was always there for the people in her life. She kept her troubles inside and rarely let people know how she was feeling.

She believed in the impossible. In magic, fairy tales, urban myths, paranormal creatures and happy ever afters. She believed that all people were good you just had to find it inside them. She believed that good would always prosper over evil. She was always optimistic, her glass always half full.

Stevie was an individual, she didn't conform to what people wanted her to be, she remained true to herself and was a fighter until the end.

This was her theme song. Sweet Silver Lining by Kate Voegel

Well I'm going home
Downhearted and hoping
I'm close to some new beginning
I know there's a reason for everything
That comes and goes

[Chorus]
But so many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight
But I'm just surviving
And I may be weak but I'm not defeated
And I'll keep believing
In clouds with that sweet silver lining

[Verse 2]
Most days I try
My best to put on a brave face
But inside
My bones are cold and my heart breaks
But all the while
Something's keeping me safe and alive

[Chorus]
But so many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight
But I'm just surviving
And I may be weak but I'm never defeated
And I'll keep believing
In clouds with that sweet silver lining

And I won't give up like this
I will be given strength
Now that I've found it
Nothing can take that away

[Chorus x2]

I know more then you think I do

It is true. So many people confide in me or ask me for advice that most times I know both sides of the story. Most people have no clue that I know what is going on.

I could tell, but then I would be taking the secrets entrusted to me and setting them free. Which isn't right.

Part of me wishes I could tell everyone what was really going on. I feel bad that they are confused. I have the power to enlighten them.

But I can't.

I am like a therapist. I have doctor patient confidentiality. I can't betray one friend for another. Sometimes it sucks.

It is like having the power to save the world and not being able to use it.

I could end their suffering but in doing so I would cause another person pain.

In the end I will remain the neutral party. I know all and see all, but like the Oracle of Delphi I can not directly tell my truths. I can give only riddles and poems.