Do they realize?

I don't think people realize how hard things are for me. I have recently decided to get rid of one of my cats. Not becasue I don't love her, I do very much so and I know she needs to be some place where she is the only cat. My youngest cat and now her brother are both attacking her. My boyfriend and I both think she is sick, I have seen her have one seizure and that is why they attack her and want nothing to do with her.

Their attacks have led her to fear them and she won't pass them at all. One multiple occasions they have trapped her and she has gone to the bathroom on the couch and my bed. I can't take her doing that and she shouldn't have to live in fear.

So I told my mom, who blames me saying I brought strange animals into her home and that is why she isn't going in the litter box all the time. One this is a recent development and we have had Beast (youngest cat) for almost two years. And though we have adopted 2 rats and an iguana they are in a separate room with the door closed and don't associate with the cats at all. But some how it is all my fault.

I don't want to get rid of her but she isn't happy here and hasn't been for sometime. I am taking her to the vet soon to get a check up and either have her euthanized if she is really sick or get her medicine and a new home.

I wish my mom would realize that I thought long and hard about this and it is what is best for Charity. She shouldn't be afraid in her own home.

Second is people don't realize how financialy unstable I am. My mom lectures me about how I make 24,000 a year but can't pay my bills and blah blah blah. I make enough to get by, when things that aren't in my budget pop it it completely screws me. It isn't like I am going out all the time, I don't drink, I don't party, I don't buy drugs all my money goes to bills, gas and food. Most of my socks have holes in them, I can only wear maybe 3 pairs of my pants my shirts are holey but I can't buy clothes. I wait for holidays to ask for the things I need. Just because I make a lot to some people I put out a shit ton of money to bills and gas. I drive an old Jimmy SUV gas ain't cheap and when my job and school are 30 min away gas kills me. My dad didn't listen when I asked for a car with good gas mileage, now I am suffering for it.

I want to be able to do fun things, like go out to places and visit my friends but I can't afford too. It isn't becasue I Don't like them or don't want to spend time with them I just can't. I try to compensate with emails, phone, calls and texts some of them even come see me when they can. I do what I can with what I can but sometimes it just isn't enough. So one is always disappointed with me, parents, family, friend, my boyfriend I just want someone to see how hard I try and how hard this is on me.