I am afraid to tell him how I really feel. I know we need to communicate more, but he takes everything I say the wrong way. Maybe I do word it wrong but every time I bring a problem up it escalates into a fight. Neither one of us can bring our selves to let out all that we keep inside.
There are times when I have told him some of the things that bother me but it never does any good. He either denies it happens, says I am wrong, that I don't understand, or that it is my fault. Its all defense mechanisms and I do it too, but I just don't understand how we can be so misguided about what the other is thinking and feeling.
Things go good for a few days then something happens he storms off to his cousins house and I am left alone to wonder what the hell happened.
On a side note his cousin tries to tell what I am doing wrong and what I should do. One it is not just my fault me and him are equally to blame, two she has no right to give me relationship advice when her love life is even more screwed up then mine. Also if I had brought a friend, cousin, family member etc.. Over to help us discuss our problems he would have been so pissed but its ok for him to do it to me?
Yet another thing I can't tell him. I don't know why we have such problems telling each other what is wrong but I feel like it is all my fault. I feel like if I just do what he wants all the time then we won't fight any more. But there lies the problem....I am not one of those girls who can just change everything about myself for a boy. I need to remain separate while still being together. I want to do things I like too and get to have a say in decisions and not have him get mad at me when I don't chose to do things his way.
I want this relationship to last forever, and I know that for that to happen we need to learn to communicate but I am at a total loss on how to do that. Neither one of us is an open emotion kind of person.
I honestly think we fight because both of us are afraid to completely give ourselves up to someone. I want to let him in and I want it to be good.
I don't want to fight anymore.....
I just want to be heard......
I kinda have the same problem with Justin, sometimes he takes the things I say the wrong way...-_- but you just have to try and keep communitcating and such idk what else to tell ya except keep trying but in the end if you cannot communicate then your relationship in teh end will eventually fail
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have this problem all the time. Most of the time I end up wanting to pull my hair out. I have been watching when we tend to get into fights and alot of the time it's the same fight over and over again. So, we've started having "talks" these talks last for hours and hours but they have seemed to help the both of us.
ReplyDeleteWe talk about what was bothering us, what we can do to fix the problem, and how we are going to be able to make sure the problem is fixed. From reading your posting whenever something goes wrong he seems to just take off. The next time he wants to tell him, "You can go and cool off now, but I'll be here when you come back and I really want to talk about what upset you." Then when he leaves do something sponteous; maybe he needs a load of laundry done, or he has a favorite recipe you haven't made in awhile, or something off the wall that I can't think of at 3:35 am. But, when he comes home and sees that you have gone out of your way to do something for him even when you are upset with him then he's going to be taken aback and realize that you mean something to him. He'll want to sit down and work it out. You can have him sit down and have a talk with him and go over everything that you need to and you know he'll listen because you've tugged on his heart strings.
Then you never know. He might just do something spontaneous too. :)
I hope you can get it worked out. Many prayers.
Thanks for the great idea, I'll defiantly try that next time.
ReplyDeleteDude who are you chick because your really smart! You have wonderful Ideas!
ReplyDeleteThank you. :) I appreciate the compliment but in truth I know this stuff because I have seen alot... and I'm only 20. lol
ReplyDelete